"Everything is KRAGLE!!" A Lego Wyldstyle mod

It is what you see on the tin. A lalafell mod that turns you into Wyldstyle from the Lego Movie. Use the Baron Helm to blank out your normal head just in case. Movement jank is to be expected, because fuck you thats why

[Universal Pictures fanfare]
[We see deep within the Lego mountain Vitruvius is guarding something when he senses someone approaching]
Vitruvius: He is coming. Cover your butt.
Guard: Cover the what?
[Lord Business bursts in killing the guards and does an evil laugh]
Lord Business: Vitruvius!
Vitruvius: Lord Business.
Lord Business: You've hidden the Kragle well, old man. [turning to his army of Lego robots] Robots, destroy him!
Robots: Yes, Lord Business.
Vitruvius: Your robots are no match for a Master Builder! For I see everything! (a red laser pointer is shoots at the Vitruvius eyes to blinded) Unh My eyes! Ow!
Lord Business: The Kragle the most powerful super weapon in the universe is mine! Oh the Kragle! (evil laugh) Now my evil power will be unlimited! Can you feel me?
Robot (monotone): I can feel you.
[his robots start carrying the Kragle away]
Lord Business: Whoo! Nothing’s gonna stop me now!
Vitruvius: (weak) Wait! There was a prophecy.
Lord Business: (grumbles, complaints) Oh, now there's a prophecy. [he turns to Vitruvius]
Vitruvius: (cont'd) About the Piece of Resistance.
Lord Business: Oh, yes, the supposed missing Piece of Resistance that can somehow magically disarm the Kragle. Gimme a break!
[Vitruvius rises and turns to face Lord Business, suddenly his eyes shine brightly]
Vitruvius: One day a talented lass or fellow, a Special one with face of yellow, will make the Piece of Resistance found from its hiding refuge underground. And with a noble army at the helm, this Master Builder will thwart the Kragle and save the realm, and be the greatest, most interesting, most important person of all times. All this is true, because it rhymes.
Lord Business: Oh, well. That was a great inspiring legend that you made up. [suddenly he kicks Vitruvius with his giant robot leg off the edge of the cliff] "A Special one?" What a bunch of hippy dippy baloney!
[8 and a half years later; Emmet Brickowoski waking up in his apartment and turns off his alarm, he gets out bed yaws and stretches and walks through to his living room]
Emmet Brickowoski: Good morning, apartment! Good morning, doorway! Good morning, wall. Good morning, ceiling. Good morning, floor! Ready to start the day! [he grabs a book from a shelf] Ah, here it is! [reading from the manual] The instructions to fit in, have everybody like you, and always be happy! Step one; breathe. [Emmet inhales and exhales deeply] Okay, got that one down. Step two; greet the day, smile and say...
[We see all the Lego citizens opening their window and yelling]
Lego Citizens: Good morning, city!
[ the citizens all say good morning city]
Citizen: Good morning, city!
Citizen: Top of the Morning to you, City!
[Back to Emmet continuing with the instructions from the manual]
Emmet Brickowoski: Step three; exercise. Jumping Jacks him 'em! [he start jumping on the spot] One! Two! Three! I am so pumped up! [looking at the manual again] Step four; shower. [Emmet gets in the shower and starts washing himself] And always be sure to keep the soap out of your--! [he screams as the soap gets into his eyes] [next we see Emmet standing in front of the bathroom mirror shaving] Shave your face, brush your teeth. Comb your hair. [he laughs to himself as he brushes his hair] Wear clothes. [we see Emmet walking out of his apartment naked until he realizes] Woop! Almost forgot that one! [he turns back into his apartment and we see him quickly trying on different outfits] No. No. Uh-uh. No. Not that. Wrong. [he finally wears his construction uniform] And that's it, check. Step nine; eat a complete breakfast with all the special people in your life. [we see him sitting in his living room eating his breakfast alone, he turns to his plant] Hey, planty! What do you want to do this morning? Watch TV? Me too! [he turns on the TV showing President Business giving a presentation]
President Business: Hi, I'm President Business, president of the Octan Corporation and the World. Let's all take extra care to follow the instructions... [whispers into microphone] ...or you WILL be put to sleep. [shouting] And DON'T forget Taco Tuesday's coming next week! That's the day every rule following citizen gets a free taco and my love! Have a great day, everybody!
Emmet Brickowoski: You have a great day too, President Business. Man, he's such a cool guy. I always wanna hear more of...wait! Did he say put to sleep?! [suddenly Emmet gets distracted by the TV showing a promo of a sitcom]
TV Presenter: Tonight on "Where are my Pants?"
Actor on TV Show: Honey? Where are my pants?
[he steps out showing that he's not wearing any pants and we hear canned laughter, Emmet laughs hard at this and falls of the couch]
Emmet Brickowoski: What was I just thinking? I don't care. Step eleven; greet your neighbors. [we see Emmet walking to work and saying hi to everyone he passes] Hey, Joe.
Joe: Hey, pal.
[Joe, carrying a massive pole turns nearly hitting Emmet who quickly ducks]
Emmet Brickowoski: Woh. [Emmet spots someone he knows across the street] Hey, Surfer Dave.
Surfer Dave: Hey, brah. [walking down the street]
Emmet Brickowoski: Oh, good morning, Sharon.
Sharon: Oh, hey, pal.
[suddenly her cats starts walking out of her apartment]
Emmet Brickowoski: Oh, hey, Jasmine. Dexter. Andy! Loki, Brad, Leroy, Fluffy, Fluffy Junior, Fluffy Senior, Jeff. [Emmet gets into car and drives into work] Step twelve; obey all traffic signs and regulations. Step thirteen; enjoy popular music. [he turns on the radio]
Radio DJ: Top of the charts again, it's "Everything is Awesome".
Emmet Brickowoski: Oh, my gosh! I love this song!
[the music starts playing]
Music on Radio: Everything is awesome. Everything is cool when you're part of a team. Everything is awesome when you're living a dream.
Emmet Brickowoski: Always use the turn signal, park between the lines. [Emmet and everyone else parks in exactly the same way] Yes! Drop off dry cleaning before noon, read the headlines, don't forget to smile. [we waves and smiles to everyone as he walks down the street] Always root for the local sports team.
[Emmet and the Lego citizens shouts]
Lego Citizens: Go, sports team!
Emmet Brickowoski: Always return a compliment. [to the male Lego citizen stepping out of the coffee shop] Hey, you look nice. [everyone turns to Emmet]
Lego Citizens: So do you!
Emmet Brickowoski: Drink overpriced coffee! [inside the coffee shop he buys a coffee]
Larry The Barrista: There you go. That's thirty-seven dollars.
[Emmet looks at him for a moment before replying with excitement]
Emmet Brickowoski: Awesome!
[Emmet walks to work with his 'overpriced coffee' following the line of all the other construction workers doing exactly the same
Construction Worker: Did you see "Where are my Pants?" last night? [everyone replies at the same time] Classic episode.
[the Everything is Awesome" music continues to play in the background as the Lego construction workers get into position]
Foreman: Instructions coming in from central. Okay, it says here that anything that's weird then blow it up. [the workers start blowing up the buildings] Alright, everyone, let's make it look exactly like it does in the instruction.
Construction Worker #1: Hey, buddy! I need one-by-two keyhole!
Emmet Brickowoski: No, problem, Michael.
Construction Worker #2: Two-by-two macaroni over here.
Emmet Brickowoski: Two-by-tow macaroni flying in. Here's one, Mel.
[ Everyone chatters around]
Construction Worker #2B Cheese slopes! Cheese slopes! Come on, everybody.
Emmet Brickowoski: Roger that, Roger.
Gail; Can I get a couple of lurps over here
Emmet Brickowoski: Hey, Gail.
Construction Worker #3: Hey, guys. Watch me drill this down. [ everyone cheers.]
[they all start singing along to "Everything is Awesome"]
Emmet Brickowoski: Man, I feel so good right now! I can sing this song for hours!
[5 Hours Later; everyone at the construction site is still singing "Everything is Awesome" and it's finally coming to the end of the day]
Construction Worker #1: When you're part of a team! Wooh! Yeah! I'm going to the Sports Bar after work tonight. Who wants to eat some delicious chicken wings and get crazy?!?!?!?!
[as the other constructions workers start leave together, Emmet is left behind and tries to get their attention]
Emmet Brickowoski: Chicken wings?! I love chicken wings!
Construction Worker #2: Yeah, who wants to share a croissant with this guy?
Emmet Brickowoski: Croissant! I love croissant!
Construction Worker #3: Oh, yeah! I sure do love giant sausages!
Emmet Brickowoski: Giant sausages! No way! [nobody pays Emmet any attention as he tries to join them] You know what I love to do? Is share a meal with the special people in my life. Fred, Barry, Gail, me and you... [suddenly Emmet slams into a construction post, falls and a gust of wind blow his instruction manual out of his hand] Ah, no! Wait! Guys, wait up! Okay, I'll meet you there! [Emmet chases after his instruction manual as the wind continues to carry it off] Oh, where did it go? [he finds the manual lying on some Lego rubble] Oh, there you are. [as he retrieves the manual and turns to leave he hears something and stops] I think I heard a whoosh. [Emmet goes to find the sources of the noise] [we see a hooded figure holding a device that is searching for a relic, just as they relic is detected Emmet notices the hooded figure] Hey, pal, I hate to tell you this, but uh...I don't think you're supposed to be here. Yeah, as the rule specifically states; works light closes at six, it's a hard hat area only. [looking at the hooded figure's outfit] That's not official safety orange. [Emmet reads from his manual] If you see anything weird, report it immediately. [he grabs his phone] Well, I guess I'm gonna have to report yyyyyyyyyy... [in that moment the hooded figure removes its hood to reveal a beautiful woman, Emmet suddenly gets is frozen on the spot by her beauty, the girl gets fed up and makes a run for it] Where are you going? Miss, I didn't mean to scare you! I'm so...aaahhh! as he starts going after her he trips and falls down a big hole in the ground] [as Emmet falls underground he gets continually knocked about] Hello! [he lands on his back in an area where half the walls are painted in rainbow colors] Hey, that's not so bad. [suddenly he starts to fall again and gets knocked about further until he finally falls to the ground and notices a giant block encased in crystal which is shining brightly] What is that?
[he hears a voice coming from the block]
Voice: Come here.
Emmet Brickowoski': What do I do? I don't have my instructions.
[the voice from the giant block gets louder]
Voice: Touch the piece.
Emmet Brickowoski: I feel like maybe I should touch that.
[Emmet gets up and starts walking over to the giant block, he becomes completely transfixed and steps over his instruction manual, he slowly extends his hand and touches the block and immediately gets a vision which includes Vitruvius reciting the Piece of Resistance prophecy]
Vitruvius (VO): A Special one with face of yellow, will make the Piece of Resistance found from its hiding refuge underground...
[Emmet then passes out]
[as Emmet slowly wakes he hears someone's voice interrogating him]
Bad Cop (VO): Wake up. Come on, wake up! Where is the Master Builder? Where did you find the Piece of Resistance? Hey?
[Emmet starts to open his eyes]
Emmet Brickowoski: Good morning apartment....?
Bad Cop: Wake up! [suddenly an angry looking cop shines a light onto Emmet making him immediately awake; he screams] Where did you find the Piece of Resistance?!
Emmet Brickowoski: The Piece of what?
Bad Cop: The Piece of Resistance.
[suddenly he knocks a chair aside in anger scaring Emmet, we see Emmet is being held in an interrogation room with his hands shackled to chair]
Emmet Brickowoski: I...I don't...! Where am I? What's happening?
[intercut to show an adjacent room with two robots watching monitors that display vital health information like heart rate etc. A screen to the left shows 'LIAR' which keeps blinking]
Bad Cop: (mocking) 'What's happening'? Playing dumb, Master Builder.
Emmet Brickowoski: No. I...'Master Builder'?
Bad Cop: (jumps onto the table and closes on Emmet) Oh, so you've never heard of the prophecy?
Emmet Brickowoski: No.
Bad Cop: Or the Special?
Emmet Brickowoski: No! No! I...
Bad Cop: You're a liar! We'll kill ya!
[Bad Cop starts to kick and wrestle around with the chair in the room]
[as Emmet watches Bad Cop continue to wrestle and kick the chair]
Emmet Brickowoski: Look, um...I watch a lot of cop shows on TV. Isn't there supposed to also be a...isn't there supposed to be a good cop?
[Bad Cop throws a chair in Emmet's direction and Emmet quickly ducks]
Bad Cop: Oh, yes. But we're not done yet.
[suddenly Bad Cop turns his face which changes to the cheerful Good Cop]
Good Cop: Hi, buddy! I'm your friendly neighborhood police officer. Would you like a glass of water? [he holds a cup of water toward Emmet]
Emmet Brickowoski: Yeah... Yeah, actually...
[Emmet goes to reach for the cup when suddenly Good Cop changes his face to Bad Cop]
Bad Cop: Too bad! [he then knocks cup off the table] Security cameras picked up this. [he shows Emmet the footage on the TV monitor next to them] You were found at the construction site convulsing with a strange piece.
Emmet Brickowoski: That's disgusting!
Bad Cop: Then why is it permanently stuck to your back?
[pull back to suddenly show the block attached to Emmet's back as he screams]
Emmet Brickowoski: [Emmet screams 'Aah! Aah!' and moves his chair back in an attempt to get the block off his back] Get off me! Get off me! It won't come off! It's chasing me! Look, it's not my fault! I have no idea how this thing got on my back!
[Good Cop suddenly appears]
Good Cop: Of course, buddy. I believe you.
Emmet Brickowoski: Great!
[suddenly Bad Cop appears beside Emmet with ''believe" in quotation marks]
Bad Cop: I 'believe" you too. You see the quotations I'm making with my claw hands? It means I DON'T believe you! [jumps onto Emmet] Why else would you show up with that thing on your back just three days before President Business is going to use the Kragle to end the world?
Emmet Brickowoski: President Business is gonna end the world? But he's such a good guy! And Octan... they make good stuff; music, dairy products, coffee, TV shows, surveillance systems, all history books, voting machines... Wait a minute.
[As Emet speaks the camera flashes past various scenes of music, dairy, coffee, TV shows etc] and then smash cuts back to the interrogation room]
Bad Cop: Come on, you can't be this stupid.
Emmet Brickowoski: Look, this is a misunderstanding. I'm just a regular, normal, ordinary guy.
[as he speaks we go to an Extreme Close Up of Bad Cop and his sunglasses]
Emmet Brickowoski (cont'd): And I'm late to meet my best friends in the whole world, and they're probably missing me right now. They're probably out looking around, "Hey, where's Emmet? Hey, where's my best friend Emmet?" And you know what? Ask all my friends, they'll tell you!
Bad Cop: Oh, we asked them alright. Boom!
[he turns on the TV monitor which shows Emmet's construction work colleagues being interviewed about Emmet]
Frank: That guy's not a criminal mastermind.
Emmet Brickowoski: See!
Jim: Yeah, he's kind of your average, normal, kind of guy.
Emmet Brickowoski: Thank you.
Jim: But you know, he's just... he's just like normal like us. yeah, he... he's just that special.
Gail: Wait I'm so confused. Who are we talking about?
[Emmet's smile starts to disappear; Gail looks at the photo of Emmet being shown to her]
Gail: Wait, does he work with us?
Emmet: Gail doesn't remember me?
Barry: Look at Randy here, he likes sausage. That's something. Gail is perky, that's something. Harry...well!
Frank: When you say Harry, I go... a=ha ha ha ha ha ha ha When you say the other guy, I go...
[he just looks into the camera showing no emotion, Emmet, now looking really upset, continues to watch his friends being interviewed]
Surfer Dave: I know that guy, but I know like zippy-zap about him.
Emmet: We just talked earlier.
Frank: And I mean, only does he is say yes to everything everybody else is doing.
[we see Larry the Barrista guy being interviewed]
Larry The Barrista: You know, I've got him like over the little bit of a...blank slate, I guess. [we hear him talking to a customer] That'll be forty-two $42 dollars, please.
Barry: We all have something that makes us something, and Emmet is...nothing.
[The videso stops. Emmet looks devastated; to Bad Cop]
Emmet: There you go. I told you I wasn't a nobody.
Bad Cop: No, it's the perfect cover.
Emmet Brickowoski: Cover? Cover for what?
Bad Cop: I can't break him. Take him to the melting chamber?
Emmet Brickowoski: What?
[in the melting chamber Emmet has been straps to the melting device]
Emmet Brickowoski: [screams] NO? NO? NO? NO? NO? NO? NO? NO? NO? NO? You're going to melt me? Am I gonna die??
Good Cop: You'll live, you'll be fine. (turns to Bad Cop)
[a phone rings and Bad Cop answers it]
Bad Cop: President Business. I have him right here, sir. Yes and no, we've told him he'll live so he doesn't matter try to escaping. But...we're lying to kill him.
[Bad Cop presses the button to activate the melting device and leaves]
Emmet Brickowoski: No wait, what did he just say?
Robot: Hold still.
Emmet Brickowoski: There's obviously been a mix up here! You've got the wrong... [a blue laser pointer is shoot at Emmet's back to removes the Piece of Resistance] Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ah-ah-ah-ah-eh-eh-eh-oh-oh-oh! This is gonna start hurting pretty soon!? [as the Robot starts to increase the power suddenly the hooded woman, Wyldstyle, that Emmett had noticed in the construction site earlier attacks the robots, takes them all down and goes to Free Emmet] No, no, no! [she frees him from his iron shackles] Whoa! Who are you? [she takes off her hood to reveal her face and Emmet is transfixed again] It's you?
[she extends her hand toward him]
Wyldstyle: Come with me if you wanna not die.
[just as Emmet goes to grab her hand Good Cop enters the chamber]
Good Cop: Hi, everybody! How is the melting going...?
[as he notices Emmet escaping with Wyldstyle Bad Cop appears]
Bad Cop: Hey, hey, hey? HEY. [he starts shooting at Emmet and Wyldstyle and laser pointer is destroys melting device] Red alert! Red alert! I need everyone, repeat, everyone, to go after the Special.
[after they escape from the melting chamber]
Wyldstyle: The tunnel's that way!
[as Emmet tries to follow her he lands on the ground with a garbage can stuck to his head]
Emmet Brickowoski: Oh, boy. [looking at Emmet with the garbage can on his head]
Wyldstyle: Oh, sir, you're brilliant! We'll build a motorcycle out of the alleyway. [she hops on top of the garbage can on his head and removes it]
Emmet Brickowoski: Oh! [then Wyldstyle starts gathering parts to build a motorcycle] So, uh...didn't catch your name or anything about what you're uh...up to, or what we're doing here.
Wyldstyle: It's brilliant, sir, that you pretended to be a useless nobody. But you can drop the act with me, it's cool.
Emmet Brickowoski: Oh, the act. [as Wyldstyle finishes building a really cool looking motorcycle] Woh!
Wyldstyle: Jump on. Let's go!
[Emmet jumps on to the back of the motorcycle and they leave]
Emmet Brickowoski: Hey, uh...
Wyldstyle: Hang on, sir.
[just then Bad Cop starts following them in his police car]
Bad Cop: All units, cut them off on Elm, NOW!
[suddenly his face changes to Good Cop]
Good Cop: Or whenever you can.
Robot: Yes, sir, Bad Cop.
[as they are being chased and shot at]
Emmet Brickowoski: Watch out!
Wyldstyle: Hold on! [Wyldstyle manages to avoid hitting the police cars in front of them] We need to meet up with Vitruvius and tell him the Piece has been found.
Emmet Brickowoski: Uh-huh.
Bad Cop: Caught up with them on a rail. Release the Copper Choppers.
[the helicopter above them drops down a motorcycle with two cops in it, they start shooting at Wyl...