I am not apologetic in the slightest. Have a Pterosquirrel with a tophat and a monocle. The monocle looks like plastic, it was entirely 100% intended (don't ask, the answer is always "intended"), and I find it cute since it looks like a fake little monocle.
Items used: Pterosquirrel Minmisle Top Hat Loyal Butler's Monocle (with the arm and connecting piece beneath edited off)